Ha, I wish. I remember a particular CHI paper of mine that got a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 3AC 1. It got accepted anyway, but there were some pretty scathing reviews. If the authors of those reviews knew they’d be public (but still anonymous), I bet they would have been just as negative but nicer. And the 1 and the 2 were really interesting! Learned a lot from them, the broader community would have too.